Negative Core Beliefs

 By: Catherine Mapes, LCSW

Through my experience working with eating disorders patients, I have found that our patients are, as Anita Johnston describes in her book, Eating in the Light of the Moon, “[…] some of the brightest, most talented, and most creative [people] I had ever met. This was, however, was not how they perceived themselves. They saw themselves as incompetent, worthless, and unattractive.” An eating disorder is a complicated disease. One of its most pervasive and damaging traits is the negative core beliefs that are formed in childhood and adolescence.

When events, experiences and relationships are overwhelming and frightening, children take on the responsibility for what happens because they do not have the developmental tools to understand their caretaker is the one responsible. For example, a child whose father deserts the family may assume that there must be something wrong with her. Maybe she isn’t pretty enough, smart enough, or important enough for her dad to stay with her. Holding her father responsible for his actions is not within a child’s developmental perspective. Blaming herself is easier than thinking there is something wrong with the adults who take care of her. Another example is a child that grows up with an over-critical mother. The child may grow up trying to please her mother so her mother will give her validation and acceptance. Children who experience abuse and neglect of any kind from the adults they depend upon learn to believe that they deserve it. Once the self-critical thoughts begin, the child defaults to negative beliefs about themselves more and more until those thoughts become core beliefs embedded in their feelings about themselves.

The child comes to believe that using eating disorder behaviors to numb and avoid these negative beliefs will help. The disease sucks them into thinking that eating-disordered behaviors give them control over the feelings they are hiding and refusing to address. Recognizing the events in one’s life that planted the hyper-critical thinking, accepting and processing the hurt, pain and self-blame; and allowing others to take responsibility for their actions while practicing ways to affirm and care for themselves has a huge impact on their capacity to change and heal.